


A crow that flies in heaven's sweetest air

by chocoleche



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Cheating, College, Eventual Smut, Guilty Pleasures, Love Triangles, M/M, More characters will be added as we go, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Sexual Content, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-12 08:59:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocoleche/pseuds/chocoleche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it."</p><p>Kageyama Tobio went to the same college as Sugawara Koushi just to prove his undying love for him, but when he finds out Suga is dating none other than Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama's first love, things get... complicated. </p><p>[The title is a verse from Shakespeare's Sonnet 70.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thirst Is A Force To Be Reckoned With

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by my sin-mate Cam, who wanted KageSuga for his birthday. I honestly don't know if this will have any plot at all, it'll mainly be drama and sex. I just really wanted to write this idea down.

It all started near the end of Kageyama’s first year in high school. After discussing it a lot with Yamaguchi—who seemed to be the only one out of the 5 first years with actual experience regarding crushes—he mustered up the courage to confess. Kageyama was a mess that afternoon. After volleyball practice, he asked Sugawara if he could talk to him in private for a little while, under the pretext that he needed advice on a matter regarding their positions as setters.

Sugawara had laughed and ruffled the younger boy’s hair. “What could I possibly teach you that you don’t already know?” he had said, but indulged him nevertheless.

Now alone inside the storage room, the pair stood in silence for a few minutes, finishing the clean-up by making sure everything was in the right place. Then Sugawara turned toward Kageyama. “So? What did you want to talk about?” he said with a calm smile, as was usual for him. When Kageyama looked at him, he felt butterflies stirring in his gut. He wondered how could anyone that got to know this person wasn’t immediately head over heels for them.

He gulped, facing the upperclassman. Kageyama took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and violently bowed in front of him. “Sugawara-san, I like you! Please go out with me!” He’d copied the scene off a manga he had once read, adding his own little touch to it (like the fact his voice was just below a shout instead of using his indoor voice—Kageyama claimed it would be more passionate), and the possibility of rejection never crossing his mind since the confession went well in the manga.

When he looked up, Sugawara looked shocked and a little bit startled by his sudden action. His cheeks had turned pink and his eyes were wide. He put one hand over his mouth and looked away. “K-Kageyama…” Sugawara sighed, looking back at his underclassman with an apologetic look. “I’m flattered, I really am. But this,” he motioned between the two with his index finger, “wouldn’t work. You still have 2 years of high school, but my time is over. I’m going off to college soon… Sorry, it’s just that there’s a significant age gap. You understand, right?”

Kageyama stood up straight, processing what had just happened. “I do understand, Sugawara-san… But I’ll eventually grow up.”

Sugawara smiled that beautiful, angelic smile only he could truly pull off, that only felt right if it was on him. “Yeah, you will. Maybe when you’re older you can try again. Who knows, maybe things could go differently.” With that said, he once again reached up to ruffle Kageyama’s black hair, smiling tenderly at him, and left the room.

 _"Maybe when you're older..."_ , Kageyama repeated in his mind.

Upon that revelation, he found himself not saddened at all at having been rejected. This was merely a test, he figured, to see if his feelings were real enough. If he could wait until he was out of high school, Sugawara’s answer would be different. And Kageyama clung to this belief like a lifeline.

Fast-forward three years, and Kageyama found himself attending the same university Sugawara had. Looking back on those memories of his adolescence, he felt grateful that his upperclassman had not treated him like a child, disregarding his confession and laughing at him—like someone else from his past had done—and for acting like nothing had happened, so as to not make things awkward between the two.

Kageyama heard his cellphone ring from inside his coat pocket. It was Sugawara calling. He hit the green button, answering the call.

“Ah, Kageyama? Sorry for the wait! I just got out of class, and I couldn’t miss this lecture, I’m so sorry for leaving you out in the cold—“

“It’s okay, Sugawara-san, don’t worry. I’m waiting by the front entrance,” said the boy, literally standing near the entrance to campus grounds. In the snow. With all his suitcases and bags. He had insisted on having Sugawara show him the way to his dorm and around campus after collecting all the information he needed from the front desk.

He waited for around 5 more minutes when his former upperclassman appeared from within the institution, panting. He looked taller, more muscular yet still lean, and fashionable as always. He also had a little stubble on his face, as if he’d forgotten to shave for a couple of days. But his smile, that perfect smile of his that could improve even the worst days, had not changed at all. He was still Sugawara-san, just the improved version. Kageyama felt like a kid again, his words leaving him as he practically drooled over the man standing in front of him. “Kageyama! You’re here!” he announced, walking over to give him a hug. Was that cologne that Kageyama smelled? Or just deodorant? Or could it be his natural smell? Either way, he took a big sniff in secret; it was a very pleasant scent.

“How have you been, Sugawara-san?” he asked, genuinely smiling at this reunion.

“Oh, please, we’re not in high school anymore. Call me Kou,” the man replied, waving his hand around and rolling his eyes.

Kageyama almost had a heart attack. He blurted out, “I can’t,” which got him a funny look from Sugawara. “I-I mean, it’s something that’ll need some getting used to, but I will. Definitely.” Not likely. It’s physically impossible for him.

Sugawara laughed, much to Kageyama’s relief. “You haven’t changed at all, that’s so nice. You have no idea how refreshing it is to have a familiar face around here. With Daichi in Tokyo, and Shimizu and Asahi abroad, I barely get to see any of you guys anymore!”

“I’m actually really excited to be here, I still can’t believe I passed the entrance exams.” Of course he could believe it, he studied non-stop for 6 months. He even had a tutor. “So, uh,” Kageyama cleared his throat, “if you don’t mind, could you show me around?”

“Oh, right. Let’s get going, it’s freezing out here.” Sugawara rubbed his hands together, leading the way back inside. Kageyama smiled, taking a deep breath as he started his college life.

His first thought was that the campus was big. It looked like a mix between an old castle and a modern office building. There were a lot of windows, he noticed. It was overall really pretty, aesthetics-wise.

“Over here are the dorms,” Sugawara said, showing him another building. As soon as they went inside, the smell of cinnamon and hot cocoa hit his nostrils. “They are co-ed so there might be both men and women living in the same floor, but your roommate will probably be a guy. What was your room number again?”

Kageyama checked the folded paper he carried in his pocket. “815W.”

“Ok, so that means it’s floor 8, room 15 on the west wing. Mine’s 530W, if you ever want to drop by.”

Kageyama nodded, following Sugawara towards the wooden door with a little golden plaque on it that read “815W”. They went in and Kageyama dropped his belongings on the empty bed to the right. He still didn’t have a roommate, they had told him at the front desk, so he would have the place to himself for a while.

Suddenly, Sugawara got a call. His ringtone was from a Taylor Swift song (he recognized it from hearing it on the radio but didn’t really know its name), which Kageyama found adorable. Sugawara smiled when he heard the voice on the other end. “Hey, there. Yeah, I’m free until 2. Oh, I have a surprise for you, come down to 815W.” With that, he ended the call and put his phone back in his jeans’ pocket. He turned back to Kageyama, practically beaming. “I’ve got a surprise for you too, Kageyama.”

Kageyama had a bad feeling about this, though. Something felt off, his instincts were telling him to run. He tried not to let his anxiety show.

Some time later, there was a knock on the door, interrupting their conversation about cafeteria food. “Koushi?” said a voice that was too familiar for comfort, a voice Kageyama hadn’t heard in years, but that still raised goosebumps on his skin.

“Come in,” Sugawara called, standing up and hugging the person who came through the threshold of the wooden door. Kageyama’s heart skipped a beat as realization dawned on him. He and the other man made eye contact, both of their eyes widening in shock.

“Tobio?!”

“Oikawa-san?!”

Sugawara only chuckled. “Ta-dah! Surprise, surprise! Tooru, Kageyama is now a fellow student. He might even be your classmate at one point.” He said so in such a calm way, one would think him oblivious to the impending doom that this meeting would become the catalyst of. He moved so that Oikawa’s arm was around his shoulder and he could put his own around Oikawa’s waist. The next was said to Kageyama, who felt like throwing up. “Oh, also, forgot to mention, we’re kinda sorta dating, hehe.”

Sugawara smiled innocently, genuinely happy about the situation.

Oikawa was holding onto Sugawara in a low-key possessive way, sending Kageyama a sour look, an almost-glare.

And Kageyama? He was just internally screaming “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.”


	2. We Need To Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly didn't think this fic would be so well-received, thank you all so much for your kudos and comments. I made this chapter longer than what I usually write just for you, so please enjoy.  
> Also, I see Kageyama studying something like Sports Nutrition. His thesis would be about how milk/yogurt affects an athlete's performance lol.

“Oikawa-san, you’re GAY?!” was Kageyama’s external, voiced reaction.

Sugawara burst out laughing, bending over and holding his sides. Tears were forming around the corners of his eyes.

Oikawa, on the other hand, pinched the bridge of his nose, mentally reminding himself that it was against his principles to hit a child. Because that was what Tobio was, an actual toddler inhabiting the body of a young adult.

Sugawara’s laughter subsided eventually. His voice was shaky from laughing so much when he spoke. “Y-You… didn’t know?” Kageyama shook his head, prompting Suga to laugh some more. “But it was so obvious!”

“That’s enough, Kou-chan,” Oikawa said, his hands hovering close to Sugawara’s shoulders in a weak attempt to calm him down. He looked really embarrassed, an expression that Kageyama felt was so foreign on Oikawa’s features.

“Sorry, sorry,” Sugawara apologized, his laughter dying down as he wiped a tear from his left eye, “That was just too funny.”

Oikawa still looked uncomfortable when he adjusted his glasses, unconsciously playing with his fingers and looking away.

Kageyama still sat on the bed, incredulous. He felt the pinch of betrayal, more than just a little bit upset that he’d been lied to. “You’re such a hypocrite, wasn’t it you who told me it was disgusting to like men?” he wanted to say, but bit back the accusative words. There was a lot of bitterness between those two, and it had more to do than with just volleyball.

Oikawa cleared his throat. “So, Tobio, what are you doing here? I mean, is there anything you actually know how to do besides play volleyball?” he said, sending him a piercing look and a smirk. Oikawa certainly knew how to push Kageyama’s buttons; he’d become a master of provocation when it came to tormenting him over the years.

To Kageyama’s surprise, Sugawara turned to Oikawa, now suddenly dead serious and looking like he was about to scold Oikawa. “Hey. Cut that out, of course he’s good at something. He’s going to study Nutrition.”

Oikawa was shocked, but he knew better than to argue with Suga. He put his hands up in surrender and apologized. “I was just joking, just a joke. Don’t worry.”

Suga scoffed. “Hmpf. I warn you, don’t diss my kids.”

Kageyama honestly couldn’t believe what was going on. The fact that he had devoted 3 years of his life chasing someone who was clearly out of his league—only to realize said person was already in a committed relationship with the one other person who had hurt him the most—was slapping him across the face mercilessly. Still, he couldn’t help feeling light-headed and flustered when Sugawara defended him (although it _was_  kind of disappointing to hear him call Kageyama “kid”, even more “ _his_ kid”). Kageyama Tobio thought that his college life would start magnificently. Oh, he couldn’t have been more wrong. It was day 1 and he was already in an emotional rollercoaster. Feelings were not his forte.

He was in such a daze that he hadn’t noticed Sugawara was trying to get his attention until he shook his shoulder. “Kageyama?” he said, looking slightly worried.

“Huh? Sorry, I… spaced out for a second,” the black-haired boy blinked, rubbing his forehead.

Sugawara smiled. “Hey, don’t let this guy bully you, ok? Do you want to come with us to a cafe that’s around here? It’s lunch time, and we’re kinda hungry. I’ll also take this chance to introduce you to people!”

Kageyama eyed Oikawa, who looked displeased and was sneering at the ground with a small pout, and nodded. This was college, a new phase, and he wasn’t about to let Oikawa Tooru step all over him like he had done throughout his life. He would enjoy being as close to Sugawara as he allowed, and in the process annoy Oikawa. “If Sugawara-san wants me there, I will go,” he said, flashing Oikawa a smug little smile.  _Let the games begin,_ he thought. _You better watch your back_.

 

***

 

“There’s going to be a party on Saturday, to start off the semester. You should totally come,” Sugawara had said.

“But, Koushi,” Oikawa had protested, “won’t he be uncomfortable? I mean, how many people will he befriend just on the first week of class?”

“Oh, nonsense,” Sugawara replied, sipping his chai tea latte, “What a better way to meet people than at a party?”

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to go?” Kageyama inquired awkwardly, playing with his coat’s zipper.

Sugawara had reached across the table to put his hand over Kageyama’s. “I’m sure. Don’t worry so much, it’ll be great.”

The morning after the party, Kageyama begged to differ.

It had honestly started pretty okay. He wore jeans and a hoodie (since, although it was snowing, Oikawa drove the three of them to the off-campus house where the party was taking place in his car), pretty casual stuff. Oikawa and Sugawara, on the other hand, were in matching, coordinated outfits. It was amazing, but Kageyama felt a little under-dressed and bland next to the stylish couple.

When they arrived, the smell of cigarette smoke had hit Kageyama immediately, making him gag and cough. Sugawara had patted him on the back and told him he would have to get used to it with time, because a lot of people smoked. Fortunately, it was only outside of the house. Inside, it smelled like a regular home—that particular, unique house smell that all houses have. The place was crowded, with people playing beer pong, other sitting on couches casually chatting, others dancing to the very loud music. Everyone seemed to be doing something. Oikawa and Sugawara were greeted by lots of people in a short amount of time since they had arrived; they were apparently pretty popular. Kageyama looked around, but he couldn’t find anyone that he recognized. Goshiki Tsutomu, from his Biochemistry class, whom he already knew because of volleyball but had not spoken much to before, had told him that he’d be there, but so far, there was no Tsutomu in sight. Kageyama walked around in search of a place to sit, but found himself having to sit on the couch that was right next to the huge speakers, rendering his right ear useless, and to the right of a couple who looked like they were about to start making out any second now. Truthfully, he didn’t want to be there, but he had resolved to at least give it a try, so as to not miss out on any of his college opportunities to do new things.

Sugawara was suddenly in front of him, handing him a red plastic cup with a dark liquid inside. He smiled. “It’s Coca Cola,” he half-shouted so Kageyama could hear over the loud electronic music.

Kageyama could cry (that was only a hyperbole though, he assured himself). Here he was, his high school crush, being so nice and kind to him all the time. He felt he didn’t deserve it, especially since he still hadn’t told Suga that he still had feelings for him. Kageyama felt like he was taking advantage of his friendship, that if Suga knew how he felt about him, despite knowing he had a boyfriend, he would push him away. His emotions were very conflicting at the moment, what with him also having the urge to push his boundaries with Suga just to piss off Oikawa.

He took it and thanked Sugawara, who was about to sit down next to Kageyama when Oikawa took his place, forcing Sugawara to sit on Oikawa’s other side. Kageyama frowned when Oikawa smirked at him.

“So, Tobio-chan, are you having fun yet?” he asked him, having to lean in close to Kageyama’s ear to speak without shouting. The action gave Kageyama unwanted flashbacks, causing him to jerk away from Oikawa. His heart was pounding, but he managed to make it seem like he moved away to cough.

“It’s okay, I guess,” he replied without getting close to him.

Out of the blue, Oikawa snatched the drink from Kageyama’s hand and took a sip. He made a face. “Of course you’re not enjoying yet, this is Coke.” He stood up and left with the red plastic cup, waddling through a sea of dancing people until he disappeared. Kageyama didn’t understand what was wrong with his carbonated drink, it was just pop, and it never really tasted bad. He figured Oikawa knew more about that kind of thing, so he just shrugged it off and scooted closer to Sugawara.

“Where did Tooru go?” he asked Kageyama.

“He went to get more soda,” Kageyama replied, using this chance to lean even closer to Suga, who just nodded in acceptance. They remained in silence for a while, until a song came on and Sugawara’s face lit up.

“I love this song!” he practically shouted, “Come on, let’s dance.”

With that, he stood up and took Kageyama’s hand, pulling him towards the dance floor with a strength Kageyama didn’t know he had. Resistance was futile.

Kageyama had no idea what to do, he simply swayed from side to side—off-beat, at that. But Sugawara was a different story. Sugawara danced so elegantly, it almost seemed like the beat was following _him_ , instead of the other way around. He looked so good in those clothes, so sensual dancing like that, so… perfect. Kageyama felt anything but worthy of being in this ethereal being’s presence. Sugawara came closer to Kageyama, since the people around them were accidentally pushing them together. Kageyama tried not to let his nervousness show, but it was really hard when their bodies were almost touching and the love of his life was smiling at him in such a content way.

He reached forward to speak in the younger boy’s ear. “I’m so glad you’re here, Kageyama-kun,” Sugawara said, calling him the same way he did in high school, and promptly sending the poor freshman over the edge. Kageyama’s face was on fire, he had goosebumps, and he had forgotten how to speak. He was about to confess his love to Sugawara all over again on impulse when Oikawa arrived to ruin everything, as he always did. He walked in between the two, separating them.

“Here, Tobio-chan,” he said in a sing-song voice, pushing a different red plastic cup into his hands. This one had clear, transparent liquid inside, with bubbles rising to the surface. Although he was a little suspicious, he tasted it. It tasted like soda, but there was something slightly off about the after-taste. He figured it must have been some obscure brand he hadn’t tried yet.

Sugawara had apparently received a call on his cellphone, so he stepped outside for a while to be able to properly hear the person calling him. Oikawa stared at Kageyama with a suspicious smile, prompting him with his hand to drink more. The previous encounter had left him pretty thirsty (in more than one way, mind you), so Kageyama downed the drink. It went down easily, since it didn’t taste bad.

“Want more?” Oikawa offered, reaching for the cup in Kageyama’s hand. He frowned.

“Oikawa-san, why are you being so nice to me?” Kageyama was always one for speaking his mind without any kind of filter, a habit he still hadn’t grown out of.

Oikawa feigned being hurt by his words, but since he saw Kageyama didn’t react to it, he rolled his eyes. “Tonight should be a special night, I want you to have a good time. That’s it.”

He studied Oikawa for a second, then sighed. Maybe Kageyama was overthinking, after all. He handed his senior the red plastic cup. Oikawa smiled and was about to go off to fetch more soda when Sugawara returned.

“Sorry guys, my fucking roommate lost his key and I have to go open our dorm for him.” Kageyama felt this was the first time he’d ever heard Suga swearing.

“I’ll drive you,” Oikawa immediately volunteered, going from cheerful to genuinely concerned.

But Sugawara shook his head. “I’ll take the bus, you stay with Kageyama. I don’t want to ruin the experience for him.”

Oikawa was about to protest, but the look Suga sent him silenced him. “Fine… But call me as soon as you get there.”

Sugawara beamed. “Always,” he said, pecking Oikawa on the cheek. “Oh, and _**no drinking**_.” The seriousness with which he said that honestly scared Kageyama a little. It wasn’t often that Sugawara spoke so humourlessly.

Oikawa smiled innocently. “You know I’m responsible, Kou-chan.”

Suga sighed, speaking only for Oikawa to hear. “Please take care of Kageyama, don’t leave him alone. I’m trusting you, Tooru.”

Oikawa nodded, grinning and planting a big kiss on Sugawara’s lips. Kageyama jumped slightly and looked away, embarrassed; it was the first time he’d seen them kiss. “You have nothing to worry about,” he said.

Sugawara excused himself to Kageyama, promising to return in an hour and telling him to have fun but not too much. The two hugged and Sugawara left.

Since then, Kageyama followed Oikawa around everywhere. A girl talking to Oikawa even commented on the fact Kageyama looked like a lost puppy. Kageyama, obviously embarrassed and helpless, went to sit by the spot next to the speakers he had originally chosen. After a while, Oikawa joined him, with two plastic cups filled almost to the brim with the transparent off-brand soda, one in each hand. “Here,” he handed both to Kageyama, “drink up.”

“Err… Thanks, I guess,” Kageyama said, taking them and starting to empty them. When he finished the second one, though, something weird started happening to him. He felt dizzy and his vision started getting out of focus. He frowned. He also felt very thirsty, but he actually wanted some water instead. “Oikawa-san, can you please get me another drink?” he said, holding his head. His senior complied, returning with his cup refilled. Kageyama downed it in one swing before realizing it wasn’t water, but more soda. He felt guilty for drinking so much of the sugary, fizzy drink, but that was pushed to the back of his mind when he felt his face heating up for no reason.

“Oikawa-san…” he started, but his tongue felt like lead and his lips weren’t functioning properly, “w-where’s the bathroom? I’m not feeling well…”

Oikawa frowned. “Wait, didn’t you eat before coming here?”

Kageyama shook his head, but soon found out that everything became a blur when he moved his head. He could only see straight if he wasn’t moving his head. There was an awful burning in the pit of his stomach, so sickening that he felt like throwing up. And he had this uncontrollable need to pee. Like right now.

Oikawa made a face. “Shit…”

Kageyama stood up—or at the very least managed to do so in his third try, since he would get up but fall back down almost immediately—and started walking, but he staggered to the right. He could only walk diagonally, and once again, if he moved his head, everything became a blur and he couldn’t see.

Oikawa groaned, cursing out loud and helping Kageyama get to the bathroom. Once there, Kageyama smiled at him randomly. He frowned. “What’s with that grin? It’s scary.”

“Oikawa-san… Is actually a nice person,” Kageyama said, before bending over the nearest hard surface (in this case, the bathtub) and hurling.

“Oh my god!” Oikawa exclaimed, utterly shocked and a little disgusted.

When he was done puking, Oikawa noticed Kageyama was crying, but he wasn’t sure if it was from the physical exertion caused by expelling the contents of his stomach or something else. He slid down to the floor, sobbing with his eyes closed.

Oikawa ran a hand through his hair. “Koushi is going to fucking kill me. I’m so dead.”

He kneeled down. “Hey. Hey, Tobio-chan, please don’t cry. It’s okay.” Oikawa wasn’t really good at comforting people he wasn’t close to. And even if the pair _did_  have history, they had never been _friends_.

Kageyama shook his head, managing to whisper, “I peed my pants,” through the sobs, hiccups, and stutters.

Oikawa was honestly startled by how real things had turned, how a harmless prank went from 0 to 60 in less time than he could say “oops”. He had merely wanted to see Kageyama tipsy so he would do something embarrassing, he didn’t expect him to not even know what he was drinking had alcohol.

He took a deep breath and steadied himself. He was the older one here, and getting a kid drunk for the hell of it was not cool. He had to take responsibility and make sure Kageyama got home safe. “Come on, Tobio-chan, let’s go. I have spare sweatpants in the car.”

“Go where…?” he sniffed, messily running his hand through his face to wipe his tears.

“I’m taking you home.” Oikawa took a couple of squares of toilet paper and cleaned up Kageyama’s face. He still had vomit around the corners of his mouth and on his chin, plus he really needed to blow his nose. He then helped him up and sat him down on the toilet seat. “Wait here while I get the sweatpants,” Oikawa told him. Kageyama nodded, refusing to meet his eyes. His gaze looked lost in space, staring at a corner.

Oikawa hurried back, carrying a pair of soft, warm, grey sweatpants that Kageyama changed into right there. Oikawa had the decency to turn around while his junior did.

Once back inside the car, Oikawa helped Kageyama get into the passenger’s front seat, leaned it back as far as it could so he would be lying down, and buckled up his seatbelt. Kageyama laughed weakly. “I finally get shotgun.” Oikawa almost smiled. He felt terrible for acting so immaturely. He also texted Suga, telling him they were leaving because Kageyama had to wake up early the next day. He didn’t like lying, but telling the truth would only cause his boyfriend to worry unnecessarily.

He walked to the other side, sat on the driver’s seat, and started the car, turning up the heat because Kageyama was shivering. He reached into the back seat and rummaged around for a jacket. Who would have known that keeping spare clothing in his car would pay off eventually? He found one and covered Kageyama with it, only then realizing it was actually his high school volleyball club jacket. Oikawa couldn’t hold back his smile then, he even took out his phone and snapped a quick picture.

The ride home was silent. Kageyama seemed to have passed out or fallen asleep, because he kept his eyes shut and hugged the jacket close to his body. When they had arrived back on campus, Oikawa parked the car and shook Kageyama’s leg to wake him up.

Kageyama’s eyes opened, but he still looked incredibly disoriented. He was still drunk, Oikawa assumed. When his eyes focused on Oikawa, he started crying again.

“Wha— Tobio-chan, what’s wrong?” he asked, confused.

But Kageyama only shook his head, clutching the jacket tighter. “I… I loved you,” he whimpered, finally looking at Oikawa through his tears.

Oikawa froze. “What…?”

“I loved you,” Kageyama repeated, sitting up. “I loved you so much, Oikawa-san. You were so special to me, all I wanted was for you to notice me, to acknowledge me as your equal. I wanted you to praise me, and to make you proud.” A series of sobs interrupted him. “But you hurt me so bad,” his voice broke now, “You _laughed at me_ when I told you how I felt… And then you said it would be disgusting if a guy really liked you.”

Oikawa was speechless. Kageyama had spoken the truth, he had in fact said all those things, but it had been back in junior high and when he was going through some emotional turmoil. He had lashed out, not knowing how to react to Kageyama’s confession since both were too young to actually understand the complexity of those feelings. And here it was, his actions haunting him years later, with Kageyama crying loudly in his car, his feelings overflowing and spilling out, and clinging to his Aoba Jousai jacket with the most pained expression he had ever seen him showing.

“I’m… I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean any of those things, I was just… scared and confused,” Oikawa breathed out, running his hands through his hair. He turned and held Kageyama’s face in his hands. “Listen to me, Tobio, you are an admirable person and I’ve been a dick to you too many times out of jealousy and I’m really sorry about it all and I wish I had never hurt you like that and I’ll work hard to try being less of an asshole and—“

In drunk Kageyama’s alcohol-ridden mind, the best course of action to take in that situation (where he wanted both to shut up Oikawa and show him affection) was to kiss him. So he did. He just leaned forward and pressed his lips to Oikawa’s, who jolted backwards, his eyes wide. Kageyama blinked, as if he hadn’t really processed Oikawa’s reaction, and leaned forward even more. But Oikawa stopped him by holding his shoulders.

“Oi, Tobio, I can’t do this, it’s not okay.”

“Mmm…”

“Tobio, please.”

“Just one kiss, Oikawa-san… That’s all I want, all I’ve ever wanted.”

Oikawa was silent for half a minute, his thoughts running a million miles an hour, contemplating all the possible outcomes to his next actions. Finally, he settled on kissing Kageyama. Just one peck would do no harm; plus, he owed him big time. “Ah, hell.”

Oikawa squeezed Kageyama’s shoulders and inclined his face in his direction. But just as their noses brushed one another, Kageyama suddenly pushed him away, swinging open the car door on his side and throwing up for the second time, on the sidewalk.

Oikawa returned to an upright, front-facing position, throwing his head back and staring at the car’s roof. He let out a big breath when he realized what he had almost done. “I’m so fucked up…”

“I feel like shit…” Kageyama moaned, coughing as more tears puddled on the corners of his eyes.

Oikawa patted his shoulder empathetically. “And it’ll only get worse tomorrow… Let’s go, Tobio. To atone for this, I’ll spend the night with you.”

That night, Kageyama Tobio slept blissfully, using Oikawa Tooru’s right arm as a pillow while having his own right arm around the older’s torso, and never letting go of that teal and white jacket.

Not that he remembered any of it the next morning, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always remember to drink moderately, kiddos. Hangovers are shitty.


	3. Setting Things (Not So) Straight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize immensely for such a long hiatus, I had totally forgotten about this fic lmao. Please continue to enjoy, leave kudos/comments, etc.

Kageyama Tobio had sustained several relatively serious injuries throughout his life, all due to his involvement in volleyball. After all, you can’t expect to play a sport and come out completely unscathed. He had fractured bones, received balls to the face, sprained his ankles and fingers—and let’s not start with the bruises in places he didn’t know he could have those. All that taken into account, Kageyama could safely conclude that a hangover was the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

  
When he came back from the dead (because he certainly felt like a corpse), everything felt so surreal for a split second. Then the weight of the world—and his own body—came crashing down on him. He had a hard time opening his eyes, which appeared to be glued shut by dried up tears. His lips were also very dry and cracked, and he could feel a deep gash on the right side of his lower lip, even if he couldn’t taste the blood anymore. In fact, he wasn’t sure if he could taste anything at all: his tongue was so dry he felt like he’d choke on it trying to swallow and die.

  
Basically, he was a mess. His clothes reeked, his hair was dirty and all over the place, and somebody must have hit him with a hammer, because his forehead was pounding. It was really bad.

  
Summoning superhuman effort, he sat up on… his bed? How or when he had returned to his own dorm escaped him, but he was thankful he at least hadn’t woken up next to some stranger (he had watched a lot of movies in preparation for college). Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Kageyama stood up, legs wobbly. He went straight to the bathroom to drink water from the faucet with his hands. He caught his reflection in the mirror over the sink when he straightened up. Yep, he both looked and felt like shit. Now that that question had been answered, he proceeded to relief his bladder and jump in the shower. He didn’t even bother to wait for the hot water, he just had to get out of those clothes and wash away the sour feeling of waking up after a long time asleep.

  
After the shower, he felt like 5% better. A towel wrapped around his waist, he walked over to his closet, looking at the clock on his wall. It was almost 2 P.M. Kageyama tensed up but quickly relaxed when he remembered it was Sunday and he didn’t have class. Throwing a pair of whatever he found first, Kageyama ended up wearing volleyball shorts and a black shirt his mother had given him that had a picture of a badly drawn cartoon pig on the front. He found it kinda cute.

  
He then walked back to his bed. He was about to lie down when he noticed a foreign object next to his pillow. He picked it up and held it in the air. A loud gasp left his lips when he realized what it was: Oikawa’s high school volleyball jacket. He let go of it as if it had burned him, taking a few steps back and slipping on the wet towel he had left lying around on the floor. Kageyama fell on his butt with a thud, hitting his head against the closet door. He cursed loudly, rubbing his head and wincing in pain. When he was back on his feet, he regained his composure and approached the jacket again, which lied discarded among the sheets on his bed.

  
Kageyama felt the skin all the way from his neck to his cheeks heating up, and he really couldn’t believe he was about to do what he was about to do, but he figured he could kick his own ass later. He took the garment gingerly, fearing it might explode or something, and brought it close to his face, inhaling deeply. The sweet smell of Oikawa’s cologne mixed with his natural scent reached the young man’s nostrils, making his eyelids flutter shut. He allowed himself one small, discrete moan.

  
There was a knock on the door and Kageyama jumped, startled, hurrying to hide the jacket under his pillow. “W-Who is it?” he called out, his heart beating really fast.  
“Ah, Kageyama! I’m glad you’re awake, I brought you food,” came Sugawara’s distinctive voice from outside.

  
Kageyama sighed in relief, relaxing and tiding up the place a little before answering the door. “Sugawara-san, good morning,” he started with a smile, then noticed Oikawa standing not far behind him and his smile fell. He only sent a small nod of acknowledgement in his direction, but it was more because he was still embarrassed than out of spite or to be rude. “Come in,” he said, stepping aside.

  
Sugawara went to sit on the spare bed in front of Kageyama’s, the one that hadn’t been yet reclaimed since Kageyama didn’t have a roommate. He set a brown bag down on his lap, and it honestly smelled so delicious it made Kageyama’s stomach growl out loud. Sugawara laughed. “I brought you a breakfast croissant and a carton of milk, I figured you’d be hungry.” The older man patted the spot next to himself on the bed, motioning for Kageyama to sit with him.

  
“Sugawara-san… You didn’t have to,” Kageyama said, complying and sitting with Sugawara, proceeding to gulf down the meal. “Thanks for the food,” he said in between bites.  
“Oh, nonsense. It’s the least I can do for you after abandoning you like that yesterday,” he said, sending Kageyama an apologetic look.

  
“Speaking of,” Kageyama began after finishing the egg, bacon, and cheese croissant, “what actually happened last night? The last thing I remember is… dancing with you. Did I hit my head and pass out?”

  
Sugawara’s expression turned dark, alarming Kageyama. “About that, Kageyama-kun, I’m going to have Oikawa-kun here explain.” His words were clipped and his tone cold. He spoke with his back to Oikawa. Kageyama wondered just what could’ve happened to make Sugawara this upset, especially at Oikawa.

  
In fact, now that he thought about it, Oikawa was still leaning against the closed door instead of sitting with them. And that was weird, because 1) in the short time he had seen them acting like a couple, Kageyama noticed they were never too far apart when in the same room, and 2) Oikawa would normally interfere every time Kageyama wanted to be in physical proximity to his boyfriend.

  
Kageyama made eye contact with the other man, who looked away. He frowned. Why would Oikawa react to him that way? It didn’t make sense. He wasn’t being his sarcastic, sassy, mean self.

  
Sugawara took a deep breath and placed one hand on Kageyama’s shoulder, drawing his attention. “I’m going to leave now so you two can talk first, but I also have some things I want to say to you, Kageyama-kun. Also, remember none of this was your fault, okay?” With a gentle, compassionate smile, Sugawara stood up and turned to leave the room. “Nice shirt, by the way,” he called over his shoulder when he had reached the threshold. With that and a quick glance at Oikawa, he left and closed the door behind him.

  
Oikawa’s shoulders slumped. He looked really sad, which made Kageyama feel awkward. Had the two of them fought? As much as he would like Sugawara to be single, he didn’t want that at the expense of both of their emotional stabilities.

  
“Sooo…” Kageyama prompted, taking the small milk carton from the bag and drinking from it.

  
With a sigh, Oikawa started walking in his direction. “Tobio-chan, I owe you an apology. Several, actually.”

  
Kageyama choked on his milk, coughing so hard his eyes watered.

  
“Are you okay?!” Oikawa asked, startled.

  
Kageyama nodded, his fit subsiding. “That was just… unexpected.” More like, he never would have thought Oikawa’s body was capable of stringing those words in the same order in front of Kageyama of all people. But yeah. Chill. No big deal.

  
“…As I was saying, I’m sorry. For a lot of things. First of all, what happened last night is that you got drunk. Okay, scratch that. I got you drunk because I thought it’d be funny to see you make a fool of yourself because I’m ‘an immature brat,’ as Koushi kindly put it. But yeah, that was wrong of me, I was supposed to take care of you.”

  
Kageyama listened intently, processing what he had just been told. He had been drunk for the first time in his life, apparently, which kind of explained how shitty he had felt when he woke up.

  
Oikawa continued to explain the events of the previous evening in detail, from the part where Kageyama had peed his pants to the part where his weak stomach had saved them from making a stupid choice. By that last part, Kageyama had switched to his own bed and was hiding under the covers, Oikawa sitting by the foot of the bed.

  
“Then I helped you get all the way here, and we fell asleep. I was also really tired so I texted Koushi before collapsing and left in the morning.”

  
“Wait,” Kageyama’s head perked up from beneath the blanket burrito, “does that mean you spent the night here?” His voice had become slightly high-pitched, his ears turning red.

  
Oikawa shrugged, still sporting a sad smile. “You were snuggled up to me so I had no choice.”

  
Kageyama wanted to scream. And disappear. And go back to when he didn’t know any of this information.

  
“Oh my god, Oikawa-san, I am so sorry and embarrassed, I didn’t mean…” but the words died in his mouth. He just couldn’t lie. Of course he had meant what he said about his feelings. “I no longer feel that way,” he forced himself to speak past the lump in his throat.

  
“I see,” said Oikawa, standing up again. “Well, I just came to tell you what happened and to apologize. I have to leave now, I gotta think of a way to make it up to Koushi.”

  
Kageyama hid beneath his covers again. “I-I’ll convince him to forgive you when I go talk to him. As compensation for kis—“ He couldn’t bring himself to say, “As compensation for kissing you out of loneliness and frustration and possibly ruining your relationship with the actual, current love of my life and that just sounded really sad, I hate my life.”

  
Oikawa looked really embarrassed as well, from what Kageyama could tell peeking from his spot on the bed. “S-Sure, whatever. Do that.” He turned to leave. “Well, then. Bye-bye, Tobio-chan.”

  
“Ah, wait.” Kageyama sat up, taking the jacket from under his pillow. “About this…”

  
Oikawa eyed it for a few seconds, then looked at Kageyama and smiled genuinely. It made his heart skip a little. “You can keep it.” And then he left, leaving his shitty yet adorable underclassman speechless.

  
It wasn’t “ew gross, I don’t want it anymore” or “at least wash it first, you pig.” No. It was, “You can keep it.” He was giving him permission, not mocking him or teasing him.

  
“Fuck…” Kageyama whispered, face flushed. He kept repeating that scene in his mind: that face, that sentence. Kageyama wasn’t sure if there were butterflies in his tummy or he just had to puke again.

  
Who’d have known Oikawa Tooru could be so charming when he wasn’t deliberately being an asshole?

 

***

 

Sugawara had texted him an hour ago to set up a meeting. It was getting late by then, so they agreed to go to that one café near campus that Sugawara loved so much. “They make the best chai tea,” he always said to justify his opinion. It warmed Kageyama’s heart to see him like that.

  
He got dressed properly, complete with a scarf and a beanie, and gave Oikawa’s jacket a few sniffs before leaving his room. Since he had been given permission to keep it that afternoon, it was totally okay to do that, right? He technically had been granted the ownership rights over the article of clothing, so it wasn’t creepy at all, right? He kept trying to convince himself that liking another man’s scent so much was totally not gay. And that it had nothing to do with romantic feelings or attachment to its owner.

  
When he arrived at the café, Sugawara was already there, sitting next to the window. He grinned, waving Kageyama over.

  
“Evening,” he greeted.

  
“Good evening, Sugawara-san. I like how your hair looks today,” Kageyama said, sitting down opposite the other.

  
“Thank you, though I really didn’t do anything,” Sugawara replied with a chuckle, reaching to play with a strand of his ashen hair.

  
They kept up the smalltalk until the waiter arrived, who was apparently someone Sugawara knew from a class. They each ordered something to drink and a dessert to share. When the waiter left, the atmosphere changed. Sugawara looked more serene, more serious.

  
“Kageyama, I want to ask you something… regarding what happened last night.”

  
The younger man froze. According to Oikawa, Sugawara already knew everything. He had told him. But still, he couldn’t help being nervous.

  
Sugawara bit his lip before speaking. “As you know, Tooru and I have been dating for two years now, so there’s a lot of trust between us. That’s why I’m not mad at you for kissing him nor at him for trying to kiss you out of pity. I’m just… disappointed. But,” he looked Kageyama in the eye, “I really need to know if you still have a crush on him.”

  
Kageyama gulped. Here came his moment, this was probably his last chance to say something. Steeling himself, Kageyama closed his eyes. “Sugawara-san… Koushi… Right now, I don’t feel that way towards anyone. Please, forgive Oikawa-san. I don’t want your relationship to become strained because of me. I’m sorry.”

  
Sugawara blinked, not having expected that answer. “…Oh. Alright, then. Glad we got over that, I didn’t want things to be weird between us,” he laughed, reaching out to hold one of Kageyama’s hands over the table. “Let’s just move forward, leave this stupid thing in the past, okay?”

  
Kageyama nodded, forcing himself to reciprocate Sugawara’s smile. He was secretly biting the inside of his cheek, though.

  
It hurt, but Sugawara and Oikawa really did care about each other a lot. Kageyama had no chance, so why even bother confessing at all? He was an adult now, and he didn’t really want to remember his first year of college as the year he became a home-wrecker.

  
Kageyama just really hoped he could find some quality self-help books on how to get over a crush in the university library.


End file.
